Roommates – The Good, the Bad and the Ugly! Part 1 in a series by Matthew Forman

One of the biggest concerns that a lot of you are having right now is also perhaps the most justifiable one out there. “What if I can’t stand the roommate they assign me?”

After all, you selected your school, and you have chosen a housing situation that (we hope) is right for you, but the school or the apartment complex assigns you a room with one to three strangers you are expected to live with!

And here you just got rid of having to share a room with your kid brother or sister…and you sort of like them! Well, you were bigger, anyway. Now you are PAYING for the privilege of sharing a dorm room with someone (and if it’s an over-flow room, two people) you’ve never even heard of before.

Or, you are moving into an apartment with between one and three strangers. Hopefully, you and your new roommate(s) will have enough in common that you will be able to get along well with each other. But what if you are hip-hop and dance mix while they are country twang and Barry Manilow? Or, you like clutter, and they are OCD neat? Suppose one of you plans to party through the next four years (bad idea, by the way) and the other is full ride academic and the first in the family to get to go past high school? We won’t even get into religious differences here.

First, if you and your roommate(s) find it difficult to live together, talk to each other about the points of contention. Often, we do things that we do not realize bother other people, and when we talk about these things without becoming angry or defensive, a lot of the issues can be easily resolved.

If, however, you cannot resolve the problems by talking about them, and you cannot continue to room together, go to the dorm’s resident aide. They may have the authority to facilitate room changes (it depends on the school), and if they can’t do it themselves, they can go with both of you to the housing office. If you are in an off-campus complex, go to the manager and find out what else is available. The one thing you need to avoid is physical confrontations with the person you are living with. And that includes snide comments, practical jokes (they are normally not funny anyway), screaming matches, and outright violence.

You may remember Benjamin Franklin’s advice that “Strong fences make for good neighbors.” Well, padlocks do the same for roommates. If you have the habit, as I do, of emptying your pockets onto a night stand, including cash, you ask for problems.

After all, you came in from a great party, had maybe a little too much to drink, and you KNOW you had $60, but now there is only $25! After the accusations and yelling about it, one of the party goers comes up and says. “Man, that was a great party! And thanks for springing for all the pizzas!”

At this point, sorry really doesn’t cut it. The bottom line is to get into the habit of locking your valuables every time, and if your roommate doesn’t, ask them too. After all, you both may have other people stopping in from time to time, and just because the two of you don’t steal, it does not mean everyone else is trustworthy.
Next time, we will look at what it takes to be a good roommate.